Though I was going to carry one. I find I now cannot. But decided to share the bit I did write beforehand. Thankfully due to canceling their trip, they now are saving from reading this drivel. and having to endure months of therapy. So with that, Here is the last of my alternative diary.
We are firmly in the up direction mostly because it got harder to row.
Jess has informed me the UK has got more wibbly-wobbly. Which is a technical term for a jagged coastline.
With that info, we think we are about to cross over to Scotland. The magic eight ball informs us to ask again later.
. Charlie lost a bet the other day. Proving once again that the Magic eight ball does not in fact float. So please send another. At the moment the sea bed is starting to look like a giant pool table.
Steph has been pondering the Wibbly wobbly shoreline. Wondering to get rid of it all with a straight line. Mostly because after consulting the runes and asking a passing druid in a sailboat his opinion, he informed us that if we hugged the shoreline, it would take us about 7 years to complete.
Now we are really Op north we have found the waters are getting more hilly Not only that but we rowed past a pod of dolphins and Charlie swore they were shouting ‘Check out that mad bampot squeak!
Also, I think Archibald is turning into a puffin. Because he is starting to sound like a drunk cow.
Now we are crossing to foreign waters. Because since writing this Scotland has got its independence.
We have decided to have a bit of a clear-out, after compiling a load of extras and sovienners. In truth, it is making the boat slower. And we are about to get to the Scotland Sea immigration office so anything that looks English needs to go.
Our cabin is getting a little cramped. And it was a good idea to do a stock take of what items we have. Not including the food, clothes, first aid box, 18th-century Scuba gear, navigation equipment, 90000 rolls of toilet paper, a science lab, Archibald’s knitted jumpers, A load of limited edition Steven Redgrave dolls still in their boxes, spare oars, Mr. Runny grunts the bucket and half a mermaid.
Song of the day from the little mermaid.
Look at this stuff,
look at this gear
Why are we keeping this octopus ear
Wouldn’t you think we’re the team
The team that has everything
Look at this tripe
here on this boat
I am surprised we all can still float
Wouldn’t you think we’re the team
The team that has everything
We have driftwood amounting to plenty
We are duckies of yellow and pink
You want flip-flops? We have twenty
No deal! Yes, it is. We could sink
We were only stopped for an hour by the immigration officers.
In fact, we passed with flying colours after they said Awa' an bile yer heid’ Which is a term of endearment. And Charlie who had ‘Haud yer wheesht’ shouted at her which she took as a chat-up line.
And so we end. I am sure at some point the girls may have met pirates, Mermaids, the loch ness monsters cousin, and a hoard of Vikings. Along with Archibald appearing on spring watch. Who knows. I don't because I did not write that bit, which is a shame really because I had a lot of fun.
Anyway, I will keep this up for a few months and then forget my password and the fact i have written it.
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